Sunday, October 16, 2011

I Need Your Advice, Moms

Hi internet. This will be a short post because it is 12:09 am, and I am spending my day with a really cute red headed ONE YEAR OLD tomorrow, so I need to be well rested! I have a lot of random energy though, and also I wanted to rant at you for a second. About getting advice. I love love love getting advice. I would prefer to get it if I ask for it, though. Otherwise, I really would rather not be getting it. This is happening today on Facebook. With very very sweet and wonderful people. People I love. I don't want to be bitchy and say things like "I SWEAR I HAVE RESEARCHED THE EVER-LOVING SHIT OUT OF THIS SUBJECT*!" but that is indeed what I feel like saying. I try not to be that person, even though I am sure my family would tell you I AM that person. Because I am. To them. I don't mind being bitchy to them.

On that note- we decided not to find out the sex of our baby and some people don't understand that.

      I understand not understanding, because I hate surprises. Really, I do. I used to be the person who didn't understand not finding out the sex of your unborn baby. The thing is, I don't want people putting my kid in a little "boy" or "girl" box before (s)he is even born. It's going to happen anyway, no matter what I do, as soon as we announce that we have a girl! Or a boy! The pink or blue will inevitably start rolling in, and while pink and blue are lovely colors, they are fit for any child, girl or boy. I don't understand why one is supposedly more "gender-specific" than the other. My kid will look so super awesome in any color under the sun. I will happily dress hir in any color under the sun. Clothes will be more for convenience than cute-factor, anyway. Texas is hot, so a cloth diaper and a t-shirt will be suitable and extremely adorable clothing. Do I care what color the t-shirt is? No. Not even a teeeeny tiny bit. *Sigh* okay. Rant over (is it?).
      (no) It's just kind of frustrating when people don't get how I will be "prepared" without knowing the sex of my child. I do not feel like knowing the sex of my child will prepare me. Babies are babies. They're all different, regardless of their genitals. We already know any male children of ours will be kept intact the way nature intended, so no need to find out to make that "tough" decision. If an ultrasound could look inside me and tell the temperament of my unborn child, that might help me be more prepared. Otherwise?...

Okay Mom's who read my blog (there must be at least a few of you!!) Please comment and tell me- did knowing the sex of your child before (s)he was born help you feel more prepared? Our "nursery"** theme is Rockstars & Rainbows (we have leftover wedding crap that can be re-purposed) and we feel that is an appropriate theme for a boy or a girl. Did it help you feel more connected to your child? I can understand that logic, if so. I don't feel like I will be more connected one way or the other, but I can see how some might.
Not knowing isn't for everyone, am I overreacting because people are driving me crazy and my hormones are all over the place?
 (probably)

Thanks for your feedback.

....So much for a short post. Sorry no pictures!

...Also today I am 16 weeks pregnant! 16 Weeks on the 16th! Woo!

*co-sleeping
**the baby will share our room, but will have it's own half, that I am excited to decorate. The rest of the house will be baby-friendly, too. My kid won't have hir own room until (s)he's at least a year or two old. All of this is subject to change at any time. The end.

3 comments:

  1. Reading the comments I saw to your post on Fb, I think you might be overreacting a little bit... though at the same time it is so new when you enter this world of Parenthood and suddenly people feel like they have a say in all your decisions, and that can really throw you off.

    I think the best thing to do when people don't understand why you're doing what you're doing, is to smile and say, "Well, this is what works for us." If they're interested in knowing why, then you can give reasons, etc if you want. But you never have any obligation to explain to someone or make them understand why you're choosing any particular path, especially when it comes to raising your children.

    There will always be someone who disagrees with you, or thinks what you're doing is at best silly, at worst damaging to your child. This will be especially true since you're choosing things that are not mainstream (homebirth, gender-neutral parenting, co-sleeping, etc). Have confidence that you're doing what's best for you and YOUR family, and don't worry about what others might think or disagree with. You, Eric, and lil DangerPebble are the only people that matter when it comes to making any of these decisions. =)

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  2. You're right. No obligation to explain my choices. Good call. I have decided to blame last night partially on the fact that it was 2:30am :p and I was feeling a little crazy :p

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  3. Hiii! :-) Thanks for stopping by my blog! I feel just like you do about advice. I love it...IFFFFF I ask for it. Sadly I've gotten LOTS of advice that I haven't asked for. I'm pretty sure the reason it bugs me so much is because by someone randomly giving you "forced" adviced they're assuming you don't know what they're telling you. At least that's it with me! ha! And you're right..a lot of it is from family/friends that you love. For some reason it's much easier for me to get advice from people I ask than if they just tell me. In fact it's something that really bugged me early on.

    I don't think you're overreacting at all. but then again one of the things that makes me so frustrated is that we've chosen a double name, Emma Claire, and some people STILL call her "Emma"...which to me is NOT her name! HA! I know I know, it's a very silly thing to get upset about BUT it drives me nuts haha

    As for gender...we obviously found out! hehe But I just wanted to know for fun! I think now after going through a pregnancy that next time we won't find out! The surprise would be so fun! I think part of me wanting to know is because my husband had to go to training for his job around 20 weeks and missed the anatomy scan at our Dr. so we went to a specialist to see our little one together and find out the gender. Then he was gone for the next 3 months so it did help me in a way knowing that it was a little girl...gave me something to distract myself from him being gone for so long!

    Sorry for the SUPERRRR long comment! :-) If you have any questions or WANT any advice from someone who's almost done with her pregnancy I would be glad to answer any questions you have ;-) haha

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